You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
Randomize
