i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
I am full of burrito and curiosity
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Randomize
