Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
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