As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
