my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
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