Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
Randomize
