i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
