you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
third nipple confirmed
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
Randomize
