is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Randomize
