Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
