god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
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