he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
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