i don't plan on having that self control this summer
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
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