note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
Randomize
