It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
they call him Oral-B. enough said
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
Randomize
