just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
Randomize
