The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
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