shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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