Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
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