i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
Randomize
