I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Randomize
