There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
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