I'm gonna have a badass scar
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
Randomize
