even my farts smell like vagina
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
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