I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
Randomize
