i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
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