so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
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