ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
Liz is crying about burritos again.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
Randomize
