She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
they're like a gay fantastic four
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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