theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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