the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
Randomize
