That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
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