evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
It's like God shit irony all over that family
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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