Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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