I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
i think i scared a bird with my dick
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
Randomize
