Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
Randomize
