Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
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