its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize
