like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize
