sorry about calling you the devil all night.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
Randomize
