it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
Randomize
