she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Randomize
