I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
