remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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