It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
