I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
