My entire life is one complicated drinking game
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
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