And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
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