so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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