It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Randomize
