Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
