Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
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